While preparing for the upcoming season, I found this reflection in an old email to a friend. Reading this brought me right back to the moment, which was great for our young club.

League worked well last night. Forced the players to make good tackles.
They saw their need to improve.  I also saw something great about
my team – heart.  My 14 old chunky boy, quiet, shy, got absolutely
Sproused (de-cleated) by our hooker.

He was standing still, waiting to pass and our hooker runs through, full speed and form
tackles him, in slow-motion, to the ground. Perfect hit. Head bounces
off the ground, out goes his wind. Everyone stops. I go over, tell the
boys to keep playing and walk him off the field. We talk about the hit
and the need to protect ourselves. He was a good sport, albeit short on
breath, with tears in his eyes.  I told him to grab a drink of water and
come back when he was ready, not expecting him to come back at all.

5 minutes later, he walks back on the field. The kids ask, “Are you
sure?” He says yeah and walks to his team. He immediately tackles the
kid who had tackled him (most intensity I had seen out of him yet) and
did his best Lomu on offense, running hard, right into our best tackler.
It was impressive. He could have quit.  But he didn’t. He man’d up and
earned the respect of me and his teammates (which was good b/c guys were
starting to get frustrated with him).

It was something special to see. Every player and coach shares something
after practice that went well / needs to be improved. I made sure to
mention the boy’s heart / heroics and had him lead the our 1,2,3 Lions
chant at the end.

Priceless…. If that kid doesn’t quit after last night, he never will.

Sure enough, that boy is returning to play this season.

I coach kids. Young adults. The Youth. In America, rugby is small. Its less than small. Rugby doesn’t register with the consciousness of the youth except for negative stereotypes like “crazy” and “dangerous.” Sames goes for the parents,  school officials and too often, the general public as well.

Its important for me as a coach, having no direct public access to kids, to communicate with them about rugby in a safe environment.  I’m not a teacher or a parent. I don’t coach in the middle schools or high schools, but I need to deliver the positive stories and messages about rugby that opens doors to opportunities, rather than closes them.

For me, this tool is social media.

When I began playing high school rugby in Washington State in the late 90’s, there was no MySpace, Facebook or Twitter. The players on my youth team recruited through word of mouth. My high school wouldn’t  let our rugby coaches in the front door to for informational sessions or other recruiting events.  Our numbers were small because of this. So small in fact, that our coach decided to make our team co-ed.  Adding female players was the only way to fill our squad.

Flash forward eleven years to 2008, my first year coaching the Eastside Lions. I didn’t know the current players, nor did I have relationships built in the Bellevue metro area, where my program is located.  The task ahead was daunting. I struggled to reach players by email and wasn’t comfortable calling underage players at home.  I quickly realized I would have to use creative means to reach the boys. I looked at the tools available to me and gave Facebook a try.

Facebook as a friend

I’d been using Facebook for about a year, posting status updates, general observations and upcoming plans. Like the other 60 million+ users, I kept in touch with family and friends, posted photos and ignored game requests. However, my interest with the interface changed when I realized I could use this social tool to communicate directly with current players.

I was able to “introduce” myself to players and gauge their interest and familiarity with rugby.  They told me about friends interested in playing and encouraged me to talk to them about the greatness of rugby.  I built an Eastside Lions High School Rugby page and invited them to join.  I could message players about scheduling and practices, touch practices and create events then invite players & parents to attend,   This eliminated players not knowing about a practices, scrimmages or games. Recruiting and communicating with current and potential players became significantly easier.

I spent hours chatting with players about their school and sport goals and reflections on their practice performance. Being Facebook friends gave them the go ahead to learn about me as well – that I was a coach who cared about them and was someone they could trust. Building these relationships was absolutely necessary because we were ( and are) still a very young club.  Facebook gave us the ability to connect and I was able to build bridges with players and parents much quicker and more easily than without.

A larger barrier in the way of access to athletes in high school in the US are their coaches from other sports (I’m looking at you Football).  Rather than pander to a group of grown men obsessed with protecting their players, I perused the local school’s football and wrestling rosters, then message those athletes through Facebook.  Is it ethical? Does it blur the lines of appropriateness? I don’t know. Did it work? It got a few kids out to try rugby and no harm was done to those kids who weren’t interested in the first place. So, yes, it worked.

You do that Tweeter thing?

Honestly, I was as suspicious of Twitter as anyone. I first heard about it two years ago, when it was just being released. At the time, it seemed like a rather useless tool. I ignored it at first. Then created and toyed around with a personal account. After a few months of “following” celebs, athletes, friends and others, I got bored. I needed a reason a tweet. That reason was rugby.

I logged on one afternoon and gave myself the name of The_Rugby_Coach. TheRugbyCoach was taken Clarence Picard of Buffalo, NY who coaches the St. Bonaventure men’s rugby team. My first step was keying in and searching for “rugby.” This search returned a list of various rugby teams around the country. From there I scoured following and follower lists to find rugby coaches, players, bloggers, local members of the sports media and other various “tweeters.”

 

I’ve been able to connect and communicate with rugby people all over the globe. Oz to England, South Africa to Argentina. Twitter has removed roadblocks among those of us passionate about communicating ideas and news about rugby. Twitter has created a free, open source way sharing of rugby related information. I can talk to Paul Fremaux , former coach, in New Zealand, Jeremy Beynon, blogger for Heavens Game in Australia or Dumont Walker , of Walker Sports in Washington DC, free of charge, simultaneously, anytime of the day. My knowledge of rugby and insight into the game has increased. My connections with the rugby world have risen ten fold.

Twitter is the snowball effect. Follow a person. Communicate. Follow someone they follow. Those two follow you. Information exchanged. Information shared.

Facebook takes relationships a step further by putting faces to names and allowing direct, real time conversations, invitations to groups & events and the nurturing of relationships between coaches & players.

Relations are built and friendships are made. The world becomes a bit smaller. A bit friendlier. And forever more connected.

Two months into our fall touch rugby preseason and the Lions are roaring with excitement,  though, the feeling is different from the “excitement” of last season. During the fall of 2008, Most Lions were rookies who’d never seen or played rugby. They ran around, mindless at times, banging into each other, not aware of what to do, or how to think about what to do.  It took the coaches and players a great amount of work, but progress was made and fun was had.

But this year, we turn the page. We have several veterans, 15+ Players returning from last year’s squad and a few new additions, who come to use from overseas. These boys drive our fall touch practice.

The veterans compete with the effort and attitude expected of them by the coaches. Around the vets, we have plenty of new, athletic and excited players, who’ve yet to see or play any (real) rugby, but have role models who set the bar for how they much practice, behave and play.

Yesterday, three players were singled out for their incredible effort and tough running. One was a vet and probably our best player. An Armenian Refugee, he spent a couple seasons playing fullback for the India Jr. National team while at boarding school in Calcutta. But, the other two were rookies. New to the game this fall, these boys competed with fire yesterday and most assuredly caught this coach’s eye. This is priceless. This is exciting.

The boys seem more confident, in themselves and the team. They seem more comfortable with each other and with the coaches. Attitudes are positive. Everyone is helping each other improve. They are competing, in a good way, and pushing each other to better their effort. They are learning each other’s timing, running style and habits. Vet’s are teaching rookies. Rookies are asking questions.

Its “just” fall touch, but its priceless. Coaches will tell you that games are won and lost in the off-season. The boys will head into the season familiar with one another, pecking orders understood and minds focused on the objectives.

“Winning” is an objective, but I rarely mention it. All competitors want to win. But, this is high school rugby – winning and learning go hand in hand. Learn from wins, learn from losses. Learn from accomplishments, failures, progress and mistakes.  We’re not going to “win” all our games this year, but we are going to meet our three objectives each game: Have fun, stay positive, give everything and we’re surely going to learn from each experience on and off the field.

But back to the excitement.

It is exciting to see more players out. More athletes. More kids (three 12-year olds on Sunday who are in full recruiting mode). More dads playing touch. More parents getting involved off the field. More coaches. More support in the community and from men’s clubs and schools.

It is exciting to hear players asking specific questions (tactical & technical). Asking about when the first game is, what position they will play and telling their friends and family how fun rugby is (not dangerous or crazy).

It is exciting to connect with coaches, players, writers and reporters of the rugby world on Twitter & Facebook. Exciting to watch this sport emerge in America (actually emerge, not sit & idle).

As a coach, I’m intrinsically rewarded when I see the enthusiasm and energy around our club.  My fire remains lit knowing the hard work and hours volunteered are paying off helps keep fuel in the tank. Yes, I’m excited about this season, aren’t you?

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Writer’s Note:

I’ll continue to write throughout the season. I’m passionate about this game and about my players and expect to capture the excitement – the ups, downs and all arounds of a high school rugby season in America. Please leave comments as I would enjoy hearing what you liked or disliked about my experience & writing. If you also have a blog, drop me a link so we can promote each other’s work. Cheers.

Is Rugby safe?

Yes. Rugby is a contact sport, but is much safer than football. Safety is a rugby coach’s #1 concern. We teach players the appropriate way to tackle and most tackle situations are close contact and resemble a wrestling takedown. Contact above shoulders is not allowed and all tacklers must “wrap” the ball carrier. You will not see the kind of high impact, blind side hits that go along with football.

What is Rugby?

Rugby came from soccer. Football came from rugby. The ball can be passed side-ways or backwards, similar to the option in football, or kicked forward and chased. Rugby is played on a football/soccer sized field.

Rugby is played in over 100 countries by millions of people and is the second largest sport to soccer. Rugby has the most collegiate clubs and participants of any sport in the United States.

Rugby combines the very best of every sport – the high jumps and creativity of basketball, the power and quickness of football, the inventiveness and artistry of soccer and the strength of wrestling and the speed of track.

Rugby is daring, tough and challenging and as of 2016 will again be an Olympic sport.

What will my son learn from playing Rugby? How will they grow?

Your son will become a better athlete and a better person. Playing rugby improves physical fitness, mental strength and develops advanced decision-making abilities. Your son is expected to demonstrate respect and sportsmanship to coaches, teammates, parents, referees and opponents. As coaches, we will always model this behavior.

I’ve heard both teams gather together after playing a Rugby match? Is this true?

Yes. Rugby players are taught to “leave everything on the field.” After matches, both teams congregate to eat and meet, hydrate and say hello. We are committed to developing character in young men and a positive culture within the community. Rugby is a sport that teaches sportsmanship and respect. In rugby, players honor their opponents and befriend them.

Will Rugby allow my son get to travel?

Yes. Rugby is a global sport. Our club intends to travel to Scotland in April of 2011. We are working with a tour company based in England, which has created a phenomenal package and experience for our boys. We will have many fundraising opportunities to ensure that each boy who wants to travel – can travel.

Do women and children play Rugby?

Yes. In many countries, England, Ireland, France, Canada, New Zealand and the U.S. for example, boys and girls as young as five years old begin playing “Rookie Rugby” a non-contact, flag version of rugby, while women have been playing rugby for over 100 years. One of our coaches is on the U.S. Women’s National team and the Kent Crusader’s high school girls’ program is one of the best in the nation.

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained. - Marie Curie

How much is too much? I find myself asking that question these days as I slump home, drained from emails sent, ideas created, developed and pursued and the responsibilities that come from wearing multiple hats. Being a rugby coach (bus driver, surrogate parent, friend, planner, disciplinarian, role model, secretary) and chairing our local youth rugby committee not only consume physical time, but mental time. The amount of mental energy spent thinking about ways to reach out to potential players, market & advertise our program and league, educate the public on rugby and explain who we are to people, is massive. However, its necessary and in the end, most rewarding.

The other day, as I sat, distant, lost in a universe of rugby ideas and memories, I was jolted back to attention when my wife asked, “I thought this coaching thing was a three month commitment?”

My dear wife, not quite.

Our season begins in January and ends in May. Our program is going into its third season and we are growing steadily. Retaining young players, recruiting new players and new coaches and building relationships with our community are “must do’s.” Rugby barely registers on the sports radar in the United States, yet is one of the fastest growing youth and high school sports and has more collegiate teams and participants than any other sport.

Often, rugby is stereotyped as violent or dangerous, even as three young men lost their lives due to football related concussion injuries in the last month in the Pacific Northwest. It is my job as a rugby coach in the U.S. to advertise and educate the general public on the realities of rugby, that is a tough sport, we know this, but more importantly about the great characteristics of our game – the culture, the people, the respect and the sportsmanship that surrounds every game and every player. Educating the public takes energy. Educating the public takes time.

Each Sunday, we host Touch Rugby at a local park. Preseason Touch Rugby is an excellent recruiting tool for my program. It allows young men, new to the sport, an opportunity to participate in a fun, low pressure situation to learn the basics of rugby. Last year at this time, we had 8-10 kids and myself. This past Sunday, we had over 30 players and adults/coaches playing for almost two full hours. Initially, I was a bit overwhelmed at the sight of so many coaches and kids, but I quickly focused and got the event going. (We typically run the boys through one or two basic drills to get them loose and familiar with passing & communicating).

Having a large number of high school players attracts other new players and helps to retain them. Having more adults and coaches provides support and stability to the new players and a leader on each touch team. I was able to roam from game to game. Compete and coach. As I looked around, I realized all the hard work is paying off; that our program has momentum and now is no time to let off the gas.

As we do at the end of each practice and game, all players & coaches circled up. Going around the circle, each player and coach is encouraged (and expected) to share a thought – what went well, what to improve on or to applaud/thank another player/coach. The energy amongst the group Sunday was undeniable. Everyone realized we were amidst something special. The numbers were larger than ever. The speed and skill of the games were much improved from last season and even last week. The “veterans” thanked the new guys for coming out, while the rookies thanked the veterans for all the help. It took months of hard work and countless hours of practice and relationship building, but our club had reached a tipping point.

We are doing more than building a team, we are building a community. Rugby has a unique global culture and we are working on modeling the positive elements of this culture in my area. I have no doubt that our program will continue to grow and be successful. The game and the people involved are too special, too positive, too caring to allow failure. But it will take work, hard work and time, precious time.

With any time consuming activity, its important to remember why we do it. Why we zone out and ignore our loved ones, our friends and our pets. Why do we play rugby? Because playing rugby is fun. Why do I coach rugby? Because coaching rugby is fun. Why do I promote rugby? Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.

It was important to me to remind my wife of this. So after Touch on Sunday, on a beautiful Autumn day in Seattle, I took her out for brunch at Jak’s grill, a cool local restaurant we both enjoy. I shared with her the number of players and coaches we had participating today. I told her about the father who shared with the group, “Today, my son and I play rugby together and rugby becomes our family sport.”

I explained that all the hard work is paying off. I shared with her my relief that all the time and energy being spent is making a difference, I took a deep breath and I smiled. And like any loving partner, my happiness made her happy and she smiled. We shared brunch and sipped Mimosas from champagne glasses, while jazz played smoothly in the background. We smiled and I gave her my undivided attention.

Fellow coaches,

Please:

Allow your players to be creative; let forwards chip and grubber, allow backs behind the back passes.

Be positive. Find a reason to praise that kid who needs it most, and challenge your star to always improve.

Have fun and smile.  Yelling and screaming is no way to live life.

Stay innovative. Rugby is our art. Always changing, evolving, bettering. Never stop learning.

Honor the game. Respect yourself, your players, their parents, the sir, the pitch, and most of all, your opponent.

Always respect your opponent. They make you who you are.

Winning is a secondary to improvement. Recognize that your team is improving, even if you are 0-11.

Review game tapes with your players. They need to analyze themselves on tape. Allow them to control the conversation and understand where they are as players.

Encourage and accept player feedback. There is more going on than coaches alone can observe. Develop player-coaches and focus & skill will improve tenfold.

Spread the game. Tell everyone who will listen about the majesty and magic of rugby. It is a family and lifestyle, incomparable to most things in life.

Teach players how to get better, while fending off the desire to punish mistakes. All roads should lead to improvement.

If your players won’t, determine if you are talking too much and adjust.

If your players still won”t focus, a few quick laps should do the trick.

Condition your players. Make them work harder than they ever imagined during practice. A team can’t win if it can’t breathe. You are cheating your players and decreasing their safety if you don’t challenge them to have the highest standard of fitness.

If nothing else, preach three things:

1. Have fun. We play and coach because rugby is fun. Keep it that way.

2. Stay positive. A team that encourages each other, rather than blames, will be in every game, to end.

3. Give everything. All we can ask is that our players give 100%. That is success.   That is victory.

“A lion sleeps in  the heart of every brave man.”

– Turkish Proverb

I coach the Eastside Lions and this is my first year.  I have now seen the team grow from a core of 8 boys playing touch rugby in November, to over 20 kids, 14-19, who enjoy and love the game.

The median age of our club hovers around 15.5, yet we will play several clubs who average 17-18, during our season.  We welcome the challenge and opportunity to learn from our opponents and to expect the absolute best out of ourselves.

Yesterday, we played the Tsunamis from Tacoma and were on the losing end of a lopsided score, but we never quit. Parents from  both teams spoke their admiration at how my boys stayed positive and played with heart, until the final whistle blew.  It is my sincere belief that during a loss, especially a blowout, players must rely on each other even more, because you need your friends the most at your lowest point.  Win as a team, lose a team.

Many of those same parents said they don’t want to see our team in two to three years, after they’ve grown. During our post game chat, we discussed tactics and what to improve on, but more importantly every Lion said they had fun.  Our three core values are: 1. Have fun, 2. Stay positive, and 3. Give Everything.  If we achieve these goals during each game than we are successful.

Of course we want to win. Competitors practice and play for victory, but victory is not the only success.  Rugby is a decision making sport and we constantly refine the ability to make the correct and instantaneous decisions.  The most valuable skills learned on the field are those that lead to success off the field.

Every game the boys improve. They become more independent in their thinking, more creative, more aware of how to anticipate, act, and react in a various situations. Each practice and game provides an experience to become a better player and a better person; to make a positive impact on team as a whole, or on an individual teammate.

And there is no less learning for the coach. There is always a better way to handle a situation, run a practice, or a drill. Always a smarter way to handle a situation, both on and off the field. Always a new tactic or technique to grab from the opponent, or new way to think about how I see the game being played.

Previous to this year, I had experienced a “runner’s high” many times.  Little did I know about the “coaching high” one feels during the dramatic moments of a match. The adrenaline and utmost tears of joy.  A feeling unmatched by just about anything I’ve ever done.  I am beginning to understand why coaches coach. Beyond the love of the game, but the biological and chemical reasons.

As the boys learn, I learn.  I teach, they teach. My practices are rugby 2.0, with insight and ideas provided by players and some skills and drills even driven by them. It doesn’t come naturally to step back as a coach, but its a necessity. Overestimating one’s knowledge and talents is a recipe for failure. This goes for players and coaches.  Encouraging talk and ideas and allowing a level of responsible in regards to what they do at practice empowers them, improves confidence, and increases attention.

There is no stopping point. No, “good enough.”  Opportunity for improvement exists in each passing moment.   When the game is over, reflect, then move on to the next. Determine what and how to improve and make it happen.

I’m fortunate to coach a group of boys who have bought into the message I am preaching.  Together, we will work to improve. Every practice, ever game. Every night and every day. Because there is no other way.

“We are the Eastside Lions. We wear the color black and green. A team like us has never been seen.”

Where does our motivation to coach come from? Many of the guys I played with, who were better than I, have no interest in coaching. So why do I? Why do I spend hours a day reading about the philosophy of rugby and creating practice plans? Why do I commute 60 something miles, three days a week, on my own dime to hang out with a few kids I didn’t know three months ago?

Is it:

To make up for the less than stellar coaching I received as a youth?

Because I could never play the game physically, like I could mentally?

To make a positive different?

To feel necessary?

For fun?

Ego? Ambition? A challenge?

My motivation to coach is a blend of the aforementioned thoughts and an array of others. I used to teach fifth and sixth grade and I felt a  rush when students improved in reading, writing, math, and attitude. I feel the same high when a group of newer players find space, run a skip-2-loop correctly, and cheer each other on in success and failure.

One day last week, after an especially well spirited practice, where the boys came together to meet the objectives of the day, I sat utterly blissful on the long drive home. It was sunny that day and perhaps the weather inspired their play. Whatever the cause, it led to beautiful results. Each player working with maximum effort and a positive attitude. Each player having fun, making decisions, over coming mistakes, and being creative.

As a coach and as a person, those days are why I live.  I don’t know why, but its something I can feel.

So, I’m curious – What motivates you?

I’ve played rugby for 12 years dating back to my high school days for Kitsap, near Port Orchard and then during my glory years at Washington State University.  The majority of my greatest moments involve rugby: the people I’ve met, the challenges I’ve faced, the fun I’ve had, and the friends I’ve made.

This last year though, I noticed a decline in my abilities.  I was always a decent player, but I found myself not being able to do well, the few things I could do well.  Rather than bang away as a lame-duck player with a blown out knee, I knew it was time to step away from the game as a player, and get involved in coaching.

I anticipated helping a youth club this year, perhaps as an assistant coach for Seattle, or Kent.  But, one day at men’s practice, two youth players from the Bellevue Tyrants (now Eastside Lions) appeared and announced that their coach (and club originator) Matt Hudson, was moving back to Pullman, thus leaving a coaching vacancy.

Matt and I go way back, having played rugby together for one season at W.S.U.  We exchanged emails regarding the situation with Bellevue / Eastside and agreed to speak later regarding the coaching vacancy.  A few days later,  Matt called and offered me the head coaching position, which I accepted.

Once the excitement wore off, reality hit me and I had the obligatory first thought, “So, now I’m a coach?”

And now, “So, I have a blog?”

I’ve learned quite a bit in the few months since I have taken over as head coach of the Eastside Lions – about preparation, presentation, and players.  I changed the name of the club to be more inclusive and welcoming to the players who make up our squad.

Having the opportunity to coach these boys is an absolute honor to me and a second life with the game that was quickly getting stale. I now view every game and highlight through the eyes of a coach, paying attention not just to “what” is going on, but “why” it is happening.

I have more to learn about rugby than I could have imagined, and have a renewed sense of purpose regarding the game.  I’m thankful to have the opportunity to give back, and hope you find my blog useful/inspiring/thought-proving/fun.  I intend to hit on many topics related to coaching,  and sometimes, the world beyond the pitch. I plan to use this tool as a way to reflect and share ideas, and gain feedback, if anyone cares to read and comment.

Thanks for giving my blog a look. Cheers and good luck with your players and season.